Six years with Pulmonary Hyperetension

Six years of my new life.Will the Sprig have the same shine in my eyes?
Shall I be able to run on the beautiful green meadow?Shall I climb the mountain’s trials?
The dream and walk in the forest’s fairy tale …greenery…blossoms…. bird’s songs…forest’s grasses … Shall I bounce on the stones at the shallow river..
No not…that’s all a part from another life of Gjurgjica. That's a finished chapter.Do you believe that everything can change in one second only.All the dreams to fall on your head.And to be broken in million pieces like a nice crystal decoration.Period.....New life …. as  in a mirror a bad dream.

There will be no more running .No more hunting of the forest’s beauty. No play in the shallow rivers waters.There’s nothing, Nothing left.Almost five years live a life and struggle for breath.Why no one has ever told me that it is a luxury?Breathing is luxury.
Mom why you didn’t tell me?Why?If I knew I would save it like I saved as a kid to buy me new crayons.Now even the steps are luxury.Neither Daddy who has all the answers he remained caught.Six years ago my new life.
Pulmonary Hypertension.Until everybody is saying you looking great you simply know…
You cannot walk cannot run cannot dance all these are luxury which will cost you

Life…killing to all dreams. 
Keep living people you don't know what awaits you behind to door.
What a surprise ?Now I have different view on the World I know I am one of the rarest.

Very often I ask myself what whit I deserved this?Of course there’s always one because? But it’s too much for this heart (which has grown from the disease) to think. Into the right meaning of the word big heart which is struggling to pump and seeks power to pass every new day with full lungs travelling on the boat of its life. 
Gjurgica Kjaeva

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